Nichts Nothing
by Lady Arcorna
Summary: After an accident Ken will never be able to work for Weiß again. Unable to deal with his disability, he receives help from the last person he expected ... Shounen Ai (AyaxKen)
1. Prologue & Chapter 1

Nichts (Nothing)  
  
Disclaimer: They're not mine. If they were I would be rich ... which I'm not. I'm making no money with this either, so don't sue me. It would be completely useless, anyway. I have nothing you would be interested in.  
  
A/N: Setting is up to you. It might even be slightly AU. Whatever works best for you.  
  
Prologue  
  
Everything had started out perfectly normal – well as normal as an assassin's mission can be.  
  
Actually the mission seemed quite easy: There was only one target and the man was all alone in his mansion out on the country side. He felt completely safe with his two bodyguards and high tech security system ... yes it would be easy.  
  
That was what Ken thought as he made his way through the park that belonged to the mansion. In approximately fifteen minutes Omi would have hacked into the computer that controlled the front gates and would be able to open them. He tried to prepare himself for what was to come. He had never liked killing. It didn't satisfy him although he knew that his victims deserved it.  
  
So many faces, so many wide eyes, so many lives I have taken ...  
  
This target was no exception; he abused homeless people (especially children) for completely useless tests. He thought he was a brilliant scientist, but to Ken he was just a lunatic.  
  
Through his headset he heard Omi's familiar voice: "The gates are open. You can proceed."  
  
There was no need for an answer and he carefully walked on, in the shadows ... as always. Lately he had been thinking a lot about all of that and he felt unable to focus on anything. He should really concentrate on the mission now, though ...  
  
What did I do to deserve this?  
  
He had only been distracted for a split second, but that was more than enough for the bodyguards to act. They fired their guns.  
  
Ken felt a hot, searing pain in his right hand and a second later also in the left one. At the same time his right knee was hit by a bullet. He cried out in agony and fell to his knees, the emotionless tears of physical pain running over his face.  
  
"Siberian, what happened?"  
  
Aya ...  
  
But he felt too weak to answer and eventually the pain faded into sweet nothing.  
  
Chapter 1 (Aya's POV)  
  
I didn't like hospitals.  
  
I spent most of my free time in a hospital to visit my sister, but that still didn't mean that I actually liked them.  
  
Now I was in one of these places again (the hospital belonged to Kritiker), waiting for news, when Manx finally appeared. She seemed beyond worried, but it only took her seconds to regain her composure.  
  
"Manx!"Omi cried out and jumped up from his chair. "How is Ken?!"  
  
She sighed and sat down. "Not very good, I fear. You have to be very strong now, Omi." She sighed again and looked down at her feet, like she was unable to face us.  
  
"He will survive. He has lost a lot of blood, but he'll survive. There has been done ... some serious damage, though."  
  
She looked up; where those tears in her eyes? In Manx' eyes?  
  
"The first bullet went straight through his right palm. There was not much our doctors could do. His hand may look like a hand now, but he will never be able to actually use it again. The second bullet ... completely destroyed his left wrist. This will heal, but the wrist will stay stiff. The same goes for his right knee."  
  
I looked at the others: Omi was crying. He wasn't doing it loudly, he wasn't whimpering or sobbing, but these silent tears expressed more than noisy whining ever could. Yohji was just sitting there, staring at the plastic table in front of him.  
  
I wondered if they knew what this meant. "He won't be able to work for Weiß anymore,"I stated.  
  
Manx nodded. "Right, Aya." 


	2. Chapter 2

Nichts (Nothing)  
  
Disclaimer: Look it up in chapter one, please!  
  
A/N: Awww, thanks for the reviews! Reviews make me happy.  
  
To Mangababy: Unfortunately Aya saw your review! He stalked off muttering about 'giddy females' and 'shine' ... ;-)  
  
Chapter 2 (Ken's POV)  
  
It was warm, dark, soft ... I didn't seem to possess a body, but that didn't matter much to me. I was just floating about. There was no now, no then ... time didn't matter in this place. It was a nice place and I wanted to stay forever and ever. Unfortunately there was no such grace for me: There were these voices which called out my name, voices which begged me to come to them. I didn't want to, I struggled and deep inside of me I screamed, but to no avail.  
  
The voices pulled me up to them and it got light. I still couldn't feel much of my body, but I knew it was there, waiting for my commands. Tentatively I opened my eyes, but immediately closed them again; the light was too harsh and it hurt.  
  
"Ken-kun, you're awake! That's wonderful! We have been waiting for so long."  
  
I knew that voice. I knew the face that belonged to the voice.  
  
"Omi,"I whispered.  
  
Talking hurt, too.  
  
"Yes it's me."I could almost see his smile. "Yohji-kun and Aya-kun are here, too."  
  
"Wh-what happened?"I managed to ask.  
  
"Well, you ... you know ... your hand ..."  
  
"This is really not the time and place for telling him that,"another voice spoke up.  
  
"But Takeda-san ..."  
  
"No, Omi-san. He mustn't get excited."  
  
I felt something at my arm and I fell asleep again.  
  
When I woke up I felt better. Well, better may not be the right word. I was still far from being well, but at least I was able to think more clearly now. What had happened? I could remember the mission. Something had gone wrong, but what was it? Something with my hand ... hadn't Omi said something about that, too? I opened my eyes and tried to lift my hand up so I could see it. Nothing happened. I frowned and tried again. Nothing. Then I lifted my arm to look at what had happened. A bandage. Hmmm ... I tucked it up to see what was beneath.  
  
I screamed.  
  
(Aya's POV)  
  
We heard him from our place in the hallway. We rushed in to check on him, but I wished we hadn't. He was basically freaking out: He had torn the bandage from his right hand (I wondered how he had managed to do that, considering his left hand wasn't much better), staring at it. The sight was far from pretty: There was a huge hole in the palm and every single bone in there had not only been broken, but thoroughly squelched.  
  
"My hand,"Ken sobbed. "My hand ..."  
  
Tears were trickling over his cheeks as he rocked back and forth. Omi tried to hug him, but Ken pushed him away.  
  
"My hand ... NO!!!"  
  
Yohji looked at me, seeking for help.  
  
"What shall we do now?"he whispered.  
  
"Get the doctor."  
  
He nodded and left to look for Dr. Takeda. Maybe thirty seconds later he came back with her. She only took a brief look, then turned to me.  
  
"I'll have to sedate him. Right now he's a danger for himself,"she explained calmly.  
  
She walked over to the bed, gently pushed Omi to the side and went about her work. Then everything was quiet.  
  
Two hours later Manx showed up and told us to go home and relax.  
  
"I will call and tell you when he wakes up, but you need rest, too."  
  
Omi wanted to protest, but a yawn interrupted him. We had all been awake for almost two days and he definitely needed to get some sleep. I walked down the hallway. They would follow me. I knew they would as they always did; I was their leader. They had faith in me. Why, I do not know. I mean, I'm not treating them very well, after all. But I have to be cruel. If I wasn't I'd start to feel emotions beside the urge to kill Takatori and I can't let that happen.  
  
No one and nothing will come between the revenge and me. Also not Ken. Why was it then that I felt tears well up in my eyes? 


	3. Chapter 3

Nichts (Nothing)  
  
Disclaimer: See chapter one.  
  
A/N: This is a revised version of what I uploaded earlier. I just didn't like the first version very much.  
  
Chapter 3 (Aya's POV)  
  
Back at the Koneko we left a note for Momoe-san, saying that we were unable to work the next day, and went to bed. This was pretty much all we could do at the moment and we needed sleep.  
  
It was not until the next day that we all met in our 'mission room'. Omi and Yohji settled down on the couch while I preferred to stand.  
  
"What are we gonna do?"Yohji asked.  
  
"We can't just kick Ken-kun out of Weiß,"Omi stated firmly, cheeks reddened in anxiety. "He's our friend! We can't just ... let him down."  
  
"No,"I replied. "I don't think it will be necessary to 'kick him out' like you said. He's quite good at doing research and you often complain about having to do all the work on your own."  
  
Omi nodded eagerly. "Yes, yes! I could really use a hand ... ummm ... I mean ... help ..."  
  
"You really think it's that easy?"another voice spoke up.  
  
"Manx!"  
  
"Ken is really good at research,"Yohji spoke up. "And where else could he go?"  
  
"I have spoken to Persia about this matter. He'll let Ken stay here, but if you don't manage to take care of Ken as well as the shop and your missions one of these things will have to go."  
  
And we knew what she meant. I frowned at her; she raised an eyebrow and glared back, our eyes fighting a silent duel. Manx was the first to look away.  
  
"You are still on a mission, by the way,"she said icily and left.  
  
Oh yes, the target. He was still alive and now he was warned. But was that really a problem for Weiß? I think not. We had had missions worse than that. We would manage this. We would get our revenge for what had happened to Ken ...  
  
(Ken's POV)  
  
The room I was in was scaring me.  
  
It was white, just plain white with nothing cheerful that could have  
brightened the mood in there. I just wanted out of that room. Ever since I had been awake I kept trying to forget about what had happened. To forget about ... the hole in my hand and what this meant. The white walls seemed to come closer and closer to me  
as well as these thoughts ...  
  
No more soccer, no more Weiß, no more independence.  
  
From now on I would always have to depend on others. They would have to help me with every little thing and this was a thought I almost couldn't  
bear.  
What was to become of me if I had to leave Weiß? I had never wanted anything, but playing soccer and even if the whole thing with Kase hadn't happened the doors to the J-League would be closed to me  
forever now.  
  
Just as I was about to lose it again I heard a knock on the door.  
  
"Yes?"I said, weakly.  
  
The door opened and in came Manx, ever beautiful and ever strong she  
seemed.  
  
"Hello, Ken."She sat down on the –white- chair beside the bed. "I don't think I need to ask you how I feel,"she started. "And although I'd rather comfort you now I have some ... unpleasant things to talk to you about."  
  
Slowly I nodded. She certainly wanted to tell me that I had to leave Weiß.  
  
"I discussed your current ... state with Persia at length and we made a decision. You do not have to leave Weiß, but you will of course never carry out a mission again and you can't work in the shop anymore. You will help  
Omi doing the reasearch and do whatever you want to do the rest of the  
time."  
  
I gazed at her. Sure, I heard what she was saying, but did I understand the  
meaning of her words?  
And more important, could I live with this?  
Ahh, I couldn't think about it. I could focus on any of these questions  
really. Maybe the sedatives were still having their funny little side effects on me. Whatever ... I wanted sleep ... I wanted to forget. I wanted  
back to this place I had visited in my sleep where everything was warm,  
soft and where nothing mattered.  
  
"Have you understood what I was trying to tell you, Ken? Ken!"  
  
This voice, it belonged to ... Manx, yes, it was Manx. She had just told me  
something important, but it could wait until later. It had to wait.  
  
With this thought I went back to sleep.  
  
I woke up to find the room unchanged. Of course. Why would it chance all of  
a sudden, huh?  
  
'You're being dumb as usually Hidaka,' I thought to myself.  
  
I wondered where the others were. But then again why would they want to  
visit me, anyway?  
I had managed to fuck up the mission as well as myself and I was only a burden for them, just someone they would maybe take care for because  
they had orders from Persia-  
  
"Hidaka-san? It's time for you to take a bath,"a voice said, tentatively, stopping me from musing about my situation further.  
  
It was Sae, my nurse. She was pretty young and pretty, too. I did not want her to help me with the bath. It was so embarassing ... needing the help of this girl.  
  
"Hidaka-san?"  
  
"Hai ..."  
  
Sae and another nurse lifted me from the bed down on a wheelchair and took me to the bathroom.  
  
"We need to undress you now, please lift your arms, Hidaka-san."  
  
I was dressed in one of these hospital night-gowns. It wasn't comfortable, it wasn't pretty, but it was the only protection and comfort I had. I shivered. I did not want this bath.  
  
"No ... please ... no. I really don't want to ..."  
  
The older nurse glared at me. "We have our orders. One bath every second day for every patient. Not more, not less. Would you please just do what I told you? Otherwise we'll need to get same male nurses to help us."  
  
I felt tears well up in my eyes. I wanted to blink them away, but I just couldn't. Why did they have to act like this? It wasn't that I didn't want the bath. I definitely wanted one, but not with the help of Sae and whoever that other nurse was.  
  
"I don't want to,"I whispered.  
  
"Fine, I warned you, but you didn't want to listen ... Koji, Yamato!"she yelled.  
  
A few moments later two very tall male nurses stood in front of me, grinning like the devil, enjoying this whole situation, while I was scared to death. They started to tear at my nightgown. I tried to defend myself, but they only pushed my hands away. It hurt. It burned. I couldn't help but let out a sob.  
  
"Quit being such a crybaby. We're being extra careful after all,"one of them said.  
  
I wriggled around to get myself free while they still tried to get me out of my clothes. One of them was obviously annoyed with the whole situation and kicked the wheelchair. It fell to the side and I hit the hard, tiled floor. That was when hell broke loose: I was laying under the wheelchair so that I couldn't see what was happening, but I heard muffled noises from the male nurses and high pitched screams from Sae and the older woman, then the chair was being cast aside and someone bent down to check on me. 


	4. Chapter 4

Nichts (Nothing)  
  
Disclaimer: See chapter one for more info.  
  
A/N: Awww, thanks for all the reviews!!! Reviews make me sooo happy! ::hands Ken plushies to reviewers:: This chapter is longer than the others. I hope you like it!  
  
Chapter 4  
  
(Aya's POV)  
  
Ken looked up to me with wide eyes and immediately I felt the need to kick these nurses again. How could they do that to a patient? I hadn't been fast enough to stop them from kicking the wheelchair, but they definitely had paid. I picked Ken up and carried him back to his room. It felt suprisingly good to hold him in my arms. It was different from what it would have been to carry a female: He wasn't soft nor was he particularly light, but he practically radiated the need of help and his eyes seemed to beg me ... to not let go. He slightly winced when we were back at his room, but I had no plans on letting him stay at this place any longer, anyway. I just needed to get the others.  
  
"What happened?"Omi asked as we entered the room.  
  
"I'll tell you later."  
  
Yohji looked at Omi who looked back at me, asking for an explanation. I sighed and quickly told them about the event. Omi was shaking his fists and if Yohji had let him he would have probably tried to beat up the male nurses.  
  
"And this is a hospital owned by Kritiker, too!"Omi snorted. "One should think that ..."  
  
"I'm very sorry about what has happened, but you can't take Hidaka-san with you today."  
  
Takeda-san, the doctor had appeared while we had talked. "He still needs intensive care and I doubt any of you'll be able to ..."  
  
"We are able to take care of a friend,"Omi shot back, glaring at her. "Better than these so-called nurses, anyway.  
  
"I knew you were going to say something like that,"she sighed. "Then let me at least give you some instructions."  
  
Omi, who had quite obviously switched into 'mother hen' mode like he sometimes did, nodded.  
  
"He needs to drink a lot. As of now he only has high temperature, but I expect that he'll get a fever later tonight. It's normal. That's how the body fights against possible infections and such. You need to keep him warm and he also has to take the same pills he got here."  
  
She pulled a small bottle of pills out of her pocket. "His bandages need to be changed twice a day. That is all ... if he gets worse I strongly suggest you take him back here."  
  
I turned around and made my way to the stairs. Ken was still staring at me with these unnaturally wide eyes. He didn't say a word, though. It was almost like we communicated in silence.  
  
When we arrived at my car I gently placed Ken in the back. Omi climbed in right behind him and cradled him in his arms. Yohji was sitting right beside me, taking a look at the two every now and then. I felt a weird thing somewhere in my chest. What was that? Why did I feel this way?  
  
Back at the Koneko I carried Ken upstairs to his room. I had never been in there before and I almost winced at how untidy it was: Old plates and glasses, magazines, soccer stuff, pillows, books and CD's covered the floor. Somewhere in the middle was his just as untidy bed. I carefully made my way through the mess while Omi was removing some stuff from the bed. I was just about to place him in the middle of his pile of blankets and pillows when I felt him grip my shoulder.  
  
"No, I can't sleep there. The pillows are all in the wrong place."  
  
I was surprised. "Where do they need to be?"  
  
He sighed. "The blue Snoopy pillow needs to be left, the grey one at the right and the Garfield pillow has to be on top of them."  
  
Omi followed these instructions and finally I was allowed to lay him down. Our youngster tucked him in and stroked his hand.  
  
"I need to go and help Momoe-san now, but I will be back really soon. I promise."  
  
With that he turned to leave, accompanied by Yohji. Ken didn't seem to like this very much and I felt this feeling again. I felt ... jealousy? But Fujimiya Ran wasn't jealous! I didn't even care about them! They were just an easier way to get my revenge, but I wasn't worried, of course.  
  
I wanted to leave as well, but Ken let out a soft noise and I looked back at him. He had extended his good, left hand; obviously he wanted me to take it.  
  
I fought with myself. Taking his hand would mean that I wasn't the ice cube I so desperately wanted to be. Not taking it would hurt Ken further and maybe it would be a damage that couldn't be repaired by some stitches and pills. With an inner sigh I took his hand: I almost wanted to pull back at once. The palm was hot as though it was on fire. I frowned and placed a hand on Ken's forehead. "You have a fever,"I said.  
  
He didn't reply and he didn't look at me anymore. It was like he had let go of everything, ready, willing and able to lose it all.  
  
"Did you hear me? Hidaka?"  
  
"Yes ... fever. That's what I have."  
  
"I will get Omi. He'll take care of you."  
  
(Ken's POV)  
  
The hours went by like a dream. People came, people left. They said things I didn't understand and that I didn't even want to understand. My last clear memory was that Aya had taken my hand. It had felt good to have his hand in mine. It was warm and dry and it was my connection to reality, but he had taken it away, leaving me to Omi. Not that this was a bad thing. Omi should have definitely become a nurse with his gentle and careful fingers that never hurt me, but made me feel better. And yet this wasn't what I longed for. It was so hot and my head felt like it was about to burst. My hand, my wrist, my knee seemed to be set on fire and I tossed and turned to find a position where they didn't hurt as much, but it was impossible.  
  
"Ken-kun! Oh, Ken-kun, you need to take your pills. Please, wake up!"  
  
Something was placed on my tongue and I got something to drink, then I continued with my tossing and turning. It was so hot. I heard a voice: It sounded familiar and it was close and distant to me at the same time.  
  
"Aya,"the voice said. "Aya, please ... come to me. Please."  
  
And another voice. "Aya-kun, I can't get him to stay still for long enough to make him drink."  
  
My vision had long since gotten blurry, but somehow I still managed to see that it was now indeed Aya who was sitting beside me, holding my hand in his. When he noticed that my eyes were open he tightened his grip.  
  
"Hidaka, you need to drink or you'll die."He held me firmly in place and somebody else (maybe Omi?) put a cup to my lips. I felt the cool water on my lips and I started to swallow. After a few sips I turned away my head. It was impossible to drink more.  
  
"Drink,"Aya said icily.  
  
"No ... can't ..."  
  
But again the cup was held to my mouth and Aya wouldn't allow me to go back to sleep until I was finished.  
  
Then I went back to sleep and this time it was more calm.  
  
(Aya's POV)  
  
Omi fell asleep at some point. Yohji simply lifted him up and carried him to his room. He returned and with a sigh he sat down beside me.  
  
"This doesn't look good,"he started. "Maybe we should take him back."  
  
"They couldn't do much more for him than what we are doing here."  
  
"You've got a point there, but still. This fever is way too high. This is not some little cold!"  
  
"I'll take care of him. You can go to bed."  
  
He looked at me, clearly irritated. "You just don't get it, Aya, do you?"  
  
But he stayed and helped me to force a little water down Ken's throat every now and then. It was probably the worst thing we ever had to do. Ken didn't want to drink and he struggled and begged us to leave him alone, but we had to ignore his plea for his own good. It felt like the morning would never come and we would have to continue with this for all eternity, but eventually he became more calm and finally fell into a deep, calm slumber.  
  
So did Yohji, but I decided to stay awake, just in case anything was to happen. I watched Ken in his sleep. I had never looked at him this way before and I was surprised by how good looking the ex-J-League player was. His skin was perfection, his mouth soft and it had just the right size, not too wide, not to small. His hair was sweaty now, but you could still see how silky it normally was and-  
  
Wait, what was I thinking?! Lately these dumb thoughts came and went as they pleased, but this simply wasn't the kind of stuff I was supposed to think about.  
  
All I needed to think about was my revenge; that and Aya.  
  
My team mates didn't matter, especially not Ken.  
  
He didn't matter at all! 


	5. Chapter 5

Nichts (Nothing)  
  
Disclaimer: Chapter one ... that's all I'm gonna say.  
  
A/N: Mmm ... in one of the next chapters we'll learn why this story's title is "Nichts". This chapter has some more angst and some fluff, too. And a Ran moment. Kinda.  
  
Chapter 5  
  
(Ken's POV)  
  
The next morning I felt like someone had unveiled my eyes. It was easier to take in my surroundings now and also my wounds didn't hurt as much anymore. It wasn't like the pain was gone. It was still there –very much so-, but it wasn't this hot, searing pain that could drive a person insane anymore. Yohji was sleeping on a chair beside my bed and beside me ... there was a source of pure warmth resting on the pillows beside me.  
  
"Aya!"  
  
The redhead grumbled and cracked an eye open. Then he did the impossible: Fujimiya Aya, fearless leader of Weiß, blushed. I blinked to check if my vision was okay, but I had been right, Aya's cheeks really were red.  
  
"I must have fallen asleep,"he murmured. He paused. "How do you feel, Hidaka?"  
  
"Better,"I replied.  
  
"Hn."  
  
With that he got up and left.  
  
Yohji was still asleep, even snoring now. Five minutes later Omi stormed into the room, a bright smile gracing his innocent face.  
  
"Ken-kun, you're really awake! I just met Aya-kun and he said you were better. How do you feel?"  
  
I wondered how many more people would ask me that question, but I couldn't be angry with Omi, of course. I think it's impossible to feel anything, but affection for him.  
  
"I'm fine, Omittchi, don't worry."  
  
He raised a slender eyebrow. "You're anything, but fine. I did a lot of research yesterday. You may feel fine now, but in the evening your fever will rise drastically again. This might go on for another week and then ... well, then we'll see."  
  
There was something he didn't want to tell me and I knew exactly what it was.  
  
"But I'll still be sick after that, Omi. I know that. I know that I'll be a cripple for the rest of my life. Just say so. Don't lie to me. Don't pretend."  
  
"Oh, Ken-kun,"he whispered and his eyes filled with tears. "Do you honestly think that matters to me? To any of us? You are our friend! Aya-kun and Yohji-kun wouldn't have fought for you like they did this night if they didn't care about you! Aya-kun could've let you die and he just didn't! We all did and ..."He was shaken by sobs and I felt tears well up in my eyes as well.  
  
(Aya's POV)  
  
After a quick breakfast I opened up the Koneko. Omi joined me a few minutes later. He looked like he had been crying, but I didn't ask him about it. Sometimes there are wounds that need to be left alone or you'll make everything worse. Yohji came down at lunchtime and we all had a few sandwiches in the kitchen. I wondered why Omi wasn't looking after Ken.  
  
"Aya,"he suddenly said. "Ken-kun was pretty much himself this morning, wasn't he? The pills weren't affecting him in any way, did they?"  
  
"He looked normal to me."  
  
"Mmm ... okay."  
  
After that he walked up to his room. It was good that his summer break had just started or I would have had to work in the Koneko on my own as Yohji wasn't exactly helpful.  
  
"I'll do the next shift together with Momoe-san,"the playboy surprised me the next second.  
  
I must have looked shocked because he grinned and then said: "Hey, someone needs to cover for Kenken. Might as well be done by a ladies man."  
  
I frowned, but I was extremely grateful for the break. There was so much I hadn't been able to do the last couple of days. Visit Aya for example. I knew that she didn't even notice my visits in her state, but I still felt that it was necessary for both of us to spend time together and even if it was just a little. I got a few flowers and then walked down to my car.  
  
Nothing much had changed in Aya's room. Not even the flowers were wilted. I exchanged them, anyway. I had brought some yellow roses for Aya. She had always liked them best.  
  
"Red roses are boring,"she had said. "Everyone wants them and most people get them. There's no fun in that."  
  
Aya ... beautiful Aya. I had loved my sister from the very first moment. Hell, I had even loved her when she was still in my mother's womb. She was the best girl in the whole world and I had always wanted to protect her. I had failed once, but that wasn't going to happen again!  
  
When I returned the shop was already closed; I went upstairs where I met Omi who was carrying a bowl of water and some washcloths with him.  
  
"Ken-kun's fever rised, just like I thought. We need to cool him down somehow, but keep him warm at the same time because he says it's cold."Omi was chattering merrily like he was talking about the weather, but that was probably to calm himself down. Ken was his best friend in the world and he was scared to death, I supposed.  
  
It was awfully hot in Ken's room, but he was still shivering and complaining.  
  
"Omi, I need another blanket! Don't we have more?"He tossed and turned. "It's so cold ... I'm freezing and it ... it just hurts so much. So, so much."  
  
Omi desperately shook his head. "No, I'm sorry! These are all we have got."  
  
The teen looked at me in despair. "Maybe he'd feel better with some ... human warmth around him."  
  
Was he really suggesting what I thought he was?  
  
"You mean we should lay with him."  
  
"Yes."  
  
Now that was even worse than the thing with Ken's extended hand. I couldn't possibly do that and still remain an ice cube, but I had to. I knew it.  
  
"Please, Aya-kun,"Omi begged.  
  
With a major inner sigh I slipped under the covers.  
  
(Ken's POV)  
  
Somebody put his arms around me, somwhat stiffly.  
  
It felt good, though. These arms were strong and the chest I was pulled against was warm. I snuggled closer, enjoying being held and not being cold anymore. Another pair of arms wrapped around me from behind and it felt like heaven. This was safety, comfort and all the other good things.  
  
I was feeling dizzy, my wounds hurt worse than ever, but it was warm and at that moment it was all I needed to be able to go back to fall asleep and this time the world of my dreams was even better than usually.  
  
A/N: Okay, this was lame, but the next chapter will be gooood. ::cackles evilly:: 


	6. Chapter 6

Nichts (Nothing)  
  
Disclaimer: Look it up in chapter one, please.  
  
A/N: Thanks for the reviews! Oh, and Narijima, could you maybe give me samples of the grammar mistakes I made? English is not my first language and it would really be extremely helpful! Thank you.  
  
Chapter 6  
  
(Aya's POV)  
  
It somehow felt good to hold Ken, to cradle him in my arms and to have his heart beat against mine.  
  
Hold on! It did not feel good! Ice Prince, untouchable Ice Prince. That was me! To my horror I heard steps on the stairs and a few moments later someone entered the room.  
  
"And you call me hentai?! You're havin' a threesome here, while I have to labour in the heat!"  
  
"Yohji-kun! We're not doing anything bad here! We're trying to keep Ken-kun warm! Besides that you didn't have to labour in the heat! It's January and it's not warm!"  
  
I looked up and saw our local playboy pout. I sighed and untangled myself from Ken. He was asleep, anyway and he probably wouldn't miss me much. Omi got up, too and we all went down to the kitchen to get some food. Momoe-san had made some pasta; she had worked in Europe for Kritiker once and she had learned to cook there, too. We all ate in silence and then Yohji and I went to our repective beds. Omi had volunteered to take the first shift beside Ken's bed.  
  
Yohji had the second shift and so I could sleep quite long. At half past four I got up and took a cold shower to wake up for good. When I got out I coincidentally looked into the mirror; I was shocked by what I saw there: My skin was not only pale, but almost translucent and there were deep shadows under my eyes from all the lack of sleep. I shrugged and got dressed as fast as I could since Yohji was probably already waiting impatiently for me to release him from his duty.  
  
"Aya, you look like a giant monster chewed you and spit you out again," Yohji greeted me.  
  
"Hn."  
  
He left.  
  
Ken was still asleep. It seemed like his favourite thing to do. I was surprised at how annoyed I was by the fact that Ken was asleep. He was sick after all and I wasn't mad at my sister for sleeping an eternal sleep, after all.  
  
But the fact that Ken wasn't talking, walking or doing anything at all simply pissed me off.  
  
"Hidaka,"I growled.  
  
No reply. Of course.  
  
"Hidaka!"  
  
I wanted him to talk to me! Why couldn't he just wake up now? I couldn't stand this silence.  
  
"Hidaka!"I shook him and finally he cracked an eye open. He looked surprised.  
  
"What is it, Aya?"  
  
"You need to take your pills."Hah, my I.Q. of 130 definitely paid off. At the same time I wondered why I wanted to hear him talk so desperately. I didn't care about him after all, so why did I want to hear his voice? Why did I want to see these crystal blue eyes ...?  
  
(Ken's POV)  
  
I dreamed a wonderful dream. To this day I can't remember any details, but it was the best dream I've ever had! There was ... somebody holding me, guiding me. Somebody who wouldn't just let me go. Unfortunately Aya woke me up right before I could see that person's face and I saw him. Not that this is a bad thing, but I doubted that Aya was the person in the dream. He told me to take my pills and so I did. Aya was glaring at my wall all the time, like he wanted to burn it down with his will or something.  
  
"Ne, Aya?"  
  
"Hn."  
  
"May I ask you something?"It was morning once again and I felt slightly better, so talking wasn't as exhausting as usually. "Why are you staring at my wall?"  
  
"Hn."  
  
Conversations with Aya almost always sound like that. He hates talking and he probably hates me, too. I mean, he's talking far more to Yohji and Omi. It has always been like that. Like there was something about me that he needed to avoid. That made me sad somehow. I wasn't sick, nor did I have the plague or anything. The silence was making me uneasy. It wasn't the natural, friendly silence that often is between Omi and me, but a silence filled up with a overwhelming tension.  
  
I was definitely grateful when Omi came with my breakfast about two hours later and gave Aya the opportunity to leave. I wasn't very hungry, though and so I just nibbled on a piece of toast.  
  
"Aren't you hungry, Ken-kun?"Omi asked worriedly. "Is the toast too cold or is it-"  
  
"It's fine, Omi, I'm just not very hungry. Oh ... and about yesterday: I didn't mean it like it sounded. I'm ... I'm sorry, Omi."  
  
He smiled this sweet smile that only he could do. "That's okay, Ken-kun. Don't worry about me. You need to get well soon so you can help me with the research! Aya-kun and Yohji-kun are so lazy! They'll never do anything and ..."  
  
I couldn't really focus on what he was saying. I didn't want to hear these funny mission-related stuff. I would never be a real member of Weiß anymore and this hurt. I had never liked my work much and I should be happy about how things were now, but somehow I missed it. As weird as it sounds. I just down right missed it.  
  
The next few weeks were just like the first days: During the day I would feel okay and at night the fever would get a death-grip of me.  
  
I started longing for death. What was it that still held me here with everything I loved taken away from me? All I had ever wanted was to be a soccer player ... what was life worth, anyway?  
  
My life was broken.  
  
There was nothing left.  
  
Nothing that was worth fighting, to live for, to die for.  
  
Nothing.  
  
A/N: Okay, this chapter wasn't very interesting, but soooooooon ... there'll be more goodness than you ever hoped for. :P 


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